As indicated on the labor blog linked in the previous post, I am having a very, very challenging end to this pregnancy, with prodromal labor to the point of progressive painful contractions, backaches, and bloody show, but then tapering off into nothing, day in and day out. We're in total limbo and just taking it hour by hour, I am trying hard not to get emotionally exhausted and dispirited. God bless my wonderful husband, he has taken time off work to give me ample time to rest physically, at least, though I know he is as frustrated with this as me.

On days when I am contracting hard, like today and yesterday, I am not even bothering to log my food. I keep waking up at night with contractions and being ravenously hungry, so vie been popping things like peanut butter for quick, dense energy. My weight, even with water retention, is staying in the 229-232 zone, and my eating is decent. A lot of bread, some chocolate for morale, too few veggies, but nothing awful overall. It's just not something I am mentally putting effort into right this moment, my mind, body, and soul are all very literally consumed by more pressing matters.

I have had two difficult labors in the past, the attrition of this one is proving to outdo both of them. I waffle between that reality making me want to cry or hit something.

On the upside, we're both still healthy by all indicators, and there is still plenty of time on the clock until I am under the gun to get him out, so long as our vitals stay in a good zone. I am praying for progressive, continued contractions to lead to birth or a spontaneous rupture of my amniotic membranes to drop his head down, once and for all, and apply the pressure I need to progress. The latter is more painful, risky for interventions down the road, and far less ideal, but it's getting to the point where it beats the constant exhaustion and uncertainty of the dysfunctional early labor I am in now.

Pray for me, please. I really, really need it.