Hopefully by the time anyone is reading this the new basic blurb for my shop and services will be on my front page, rather than just a nebulous web concept, some pretty yarn, and all pertinent information buried in the dark corners of my blog or the FAQ (that I doubt people actually read, nor do I blame them!).  I also hope to get some serious work done with images, layout, fields to fill out for custom orders and that nifty colorwheel thingy, but one ambitious project at a time for the lazy dyer, right?

Perhaps this entry would have been better titled as "Brave, Brave Sir Robin" given my intrepid feelings pushing forward, but like it or not I am forging on, conquistador style, and soaking roving for the first real production of colorways in Helena's Garden.  I am planning on working up Arctic Raspberry, Collard Greens, Heirloom Carrot and Potato Harvest as my first formulated colors.  I am hoping the girls will be cooperative enough tomorrow afternoon that I can get the dyes mixed, at least, before Peter gets home and do my dyeing in the evening.

I have a bunch of roving on hand, so that's just what I'll be using.  I am exploring some other suppliers than my main yarn site and considering working from cones rather than skeins, so I have been holding off on another stock purchase for yarn until more sells from the store as it currently stands.  The types will remain the same, it's just who I get it from and in what form that may differ.

In life news, I can't believe Erica's wedding is getting so close.  She's been my best friend for years and was the maid of honor at my wedding (despite the fact that she and her boyfriend had been together MANY years longer than Peter and me, and that I always thought she'd get married first!) and so I get to reciprocate for her.  On the one hand I am excited - she's FINALLY getting married, they SO deserve this and I am ridiculously excited and honored to be a part of it.  On the other hand - I have some real things to be anxious about.

First - I have never been away from Peter for more than 18 hours, and never over any great distance.  I miss him TERRIBLY when he goes out of town, and I don't know how I will fare being gone more than a week, 2000 miles away.

I have also never, ever been away from Callie (or Lilah) for more than about eight hours, and I know I will probably worry about her the entire time I am gone.  What she's eating, when she's napping, if she gets hurt while playing or if she's having fun, or if she's having SO much fun with everyone else that she doesn't even notice I am gone... it's a no-win situation and I dearly wish I could take her with me.

Lilah is coming with me, partially out of necessity because of her age and the fact that she won't take any form of liquid besides a breast, not even breastmilk out of a bottle.  But traveling alone with her is worrying me - I am afraid I don't have enough hands, I won't be able to install her fiddly carseat by myself (it's Peter's job), she'll scream the whole way, that I'll need to put her down to grab things and can't.... and then when we get down there every single day is ridiculously overbooked!  She'll be carted to eternity and back, miss a ton of naps, probably scream at everyone who isn't me.... I feel terribly for putting her through this and hope it ends up working out better than I am imagining, yet I see no possible way for that to be true.

I'm also embarrassed to head down there looking like I do - I feel SO fat, and while I am trying (and succeeding!) at losing weight slowly and steadily, I didn't want my family to see me until I had shed significantly more weight and had my confidence back a bit.  I don't want to stand up in front at the wedding because I look terrible, especially next to the adorable Amanda and Erica!  I feel like I am doing my friend a disservice by not looking better in her wedding pictures, though I know she doesn't feel that way.  My only advantage is that she'll be so beautiful nobody will even notice me :)  But the self image issues are a killer and while I look better than I did I wanted to surprise everyone with a dramatic change SO badly... but the loss has been going snail slow and the wedding came up too fast.

These are all such minor things - Peter will miss me but enjoy the sleep and relaxation of having me and Lilah gone.  Callie will hang out with Grandma during the day and have a blast, and I'll get to parent just one kid for a short period of time and get a breather.  Lilah loves me to bits and will likely be happy as long as she is with me, with the boob nearby, and each day we WILL get everything done without passing out from stress and exhaustion!  I look better than I have in several years and my family will be thrilled that I am losing weight, and fat or not my bridesmaid dress look slammin'!  I know it will be a great trip if I just stop letting myself worry, but it's HARD not to!

Thanks to my poor planning I am running my custom order sale during part of my vacation (do'h!) and so I will answer emails but be unable to fill orders during that time, and with any luck I'll be backlogged when I get home.  I wish I had remembered the wedding when I was typing up the promotion, but it was not to be.  Still, the business will keep, I can't afford to get much more busy than I already am anyhow, and I hope that the sale is a success and brings in some new customers.

I really wanted the site refined before I started receiving any higher bulk of custom orders, so it was easier to navigate, but Peter has been super busy and I have too.  But life keeps chugging along, whether I am up to speed and deadline or not!  The next few weeks will certainly be busy, I just pray I keep my priorities straight and manage to get it all done.  During such stressful times and travel I know it is crucially important that I keep God and my family front and center.  One way or another I WILL survive until April!